TO GET WHERE WE'RE GOING...

| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |

Regular “exercise” is part of the daily lives of many octogenarians, but for those in Blue Zone communities, that doesn’t mean what you might think.

Rather than spending extra hours at the gym or walking for the sake of accumulating miles, such people live in environments conducive to making regular movement a natural part of their everyday lives. They don’t have to go out of their way to get exercise because it is structured into what they already do.

Often, this is as simple as doing regular tasks by hand, the old-fashioned way, without the assistance of modern technology and devices....

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EATING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU

| Ashley Parsons |

When I was a massage therapist, I would ask my clients, “Do you treat your car better than your body?” When we buy a car, the dealer tells us to make sure we use the right gasoline, change our oil regularly, keep coolant in the radiator and make sure to go to our regular maintenance inspections.  What would happen if we didn’t? At best, our cars would stop running. Would we ever put anything other than gasoline in our engine? Not unless you wanted to replace your engine. Would you drive your car on a highway at 90 mph for days or weeks on end, without a break? Probably not. Yet, we (me included) do this everyday with our bodies. We go all day long, with no breaks, and we refuel with nutrient deficient foods. Unfortunately, our bodies don’t have a check engine light they can turn on, nor do we start smoking out of our ears or get a flat tire.  Our bodies do start to get run down and not function at their optimal levels. Our “parts” get overworked and worn out.

When it comes to food, the things we put in our mouth have changed tremendously over the past 100 years....

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CREATING MEANINGFUL MEALS

| Anne Williamson | 

Saturday, many from the WAYfinding community gathered for dinner and conversation around creating meaningful meals. We prepped and served spaghetti and salad - delicious, and inspired by last week's "Friday Night Meatballs" article, intentionally simple. Then, while the kids engaged in their own learning activities, the adults heard from Indiana farmer Jeff Hawkins of Hawkins Family Farms. What a joy! Jeff and his family's approach to farming is holistic and deeply thoughtful. I, and others, left feeling inspired and hopeful for Indiana agriculture.

So engrossed in the conversation with Jeff, we didn't get to part 2: creating a more meaningful experience around the dinner table. It's about being intentional with this time - living into our values - rather than simply going through the motions when we eat. So in lieu of that conversation, and for others who may be interested, I invite you to reflect personally on the below questions as well as consider integrating some of the suggested ideas....

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A YEAR LATER, WHY I'M STILL ATTEMPTING COMMUNITY

| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |

When I was younger, finding community seemed easy. As a child, I simply had to go into the backyard and yell the names of the neighborhood kids until someone came out to play. School, sports, and extracurricular activities provided plenty of opportunities to bond with others over shared experiences, goals, and triumphs or losses.

I spent most of my 20s in similarly structured spaces – college, volunteer corps, and grad school – where proximity to people with common interests was something that could be taken for granted. Add in the fact that most of us lived in practically identical housing, and there wasn’t much to worry about as far as what other people would think of my dorm room or apartment.

Exposure to so many people made it easy to find friends, and if I wanted company for a meal, an event, or pretty much anything, I could always find someone who would enthusiastically join me. When some students would graduate, new ones would move in, and my circle of friends naturally evolved to accommodate these changes.

Now, however, community seems a lot more elusive....

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THE MYTH OF INDEPENDENCE

| Anne Williamson |

Always curious, even anxious, about what I was meant to do with my life, as a teenager, my parents lovingly took me to a career counselor. The process took nearly all day, as there were numerous interviews, and aptitude and personality tests. Finally, all three of us sat down with the head honcho to hear his analysis of my results. What would he say? Was my vocational destiny finally to be revealed?
 
It was not. I remember only two things from that conversation. One, he did not say I would one day become an unconventional minister. And, two, he did say I was “neurotically self-reliant.”
 
It is for this second remembrance that I share this story. I often think our entire society shares my disease....

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THE TRUE HOLISM OF HEALTH

| Anne Williamson | 

Watching Dan Buettner's 2011 TEDMED Talk on Blue Zones fills me with both relief and dread. In it, Buettner shares the key to health and vitality he's discovered through studying pockets of people around the world with the highest proportion of people who reach 100 (i.e. Blue Zones) as well as those rare communities who have improved their health and maintained it: the whole system must be addressed. Perhaps you now understand my contradictory response.

On the one hand, my health and vitality is not, cannot be, entirely in my hands. What a relief! Shame, be gone! On the other hand, my health and vitality is not entirely in my hands, meaning a whole system must be corrected! The Yiddish exclamation "oy vey" comes to mind. This is bound to be a complicated, lengthy process! Can we really change all the misguided systems and policies that affect our collective health in this country? Can we change culture? 

Sure. Of course we can. Culture is changing all the time. And, what I love about this particular collective calling is how beautifully the science mirrors our own growing spiritual intuition: we are all interconnected. I cannot be deeply healthy, truly whole, unless you are too. And, not just the "you" next door or half way around the world, but also the "you" generations from now; our interconnectedness is across time as well as geography. 

Is this reality more complicated, messy? Of course. But, it's also more beautiful and filled with meaning. Health and vitality is truly a holistic pursuit. I, for one, as part of the One, am glad.  

SPRING ROUND STARTS THIS WEEK!

Our spring round kicks off this week! Dan Buettner's TEDTalk as well as this article on how income inequality affects health will shape our conversation. In addition, we'll reflect personally on how fulfilled we currently are in nine interconnected, good health categories using the "Fulfillment Wheel" pictured. At the round's end, after addressing each category, we'll fill out the wheel again and see what's changed. It's going to be a great round! And, there is always more room at the table! If you are interested in joining the conversation, learn more and sign-up here. You are welcome to simply check a group out the first week or two; if it's not for you, no need to continue. 

CRACKS

| Anne Williamson | 

It’s 5:00a, and I can’t sleep. I am listening to Daniel Goleman talk to Oprah about his ground-breaking work on emotional intelligence. I remember when his initial book on the subject came out. It was 1995; I was 14 years old and struggling beneath an eating disorder and depression. His book was a life line for me: for the first time, I glimpsed a future where my deep emotions and thoughts might not be weights on my life, but propellers toward success, or what I now call wholeness. Goleman’s work cracked open my current paradigm. Thank g/God.

In any particular moment in time, it is easy to believe nothing will ever shift our perspective so dramatically....

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FINDING PEACE & JOY, SIMPLY

| Anne Williamson | 

I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.

This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I kept making changes because I found peace in doing so.

This peace has come not with any sort of “arrival” but through the journey of gradually eliminating some things so that other things may speak more freely, may take up more space, in my life....

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THE RESPONSIBILITY TO BLESS

| Chase Tibbs | 

The western hills of Pennsylvania were a wonderful place to grow up. I spent the first eighteen years of my life loved and supported by people who invested deeply in me. Some of you will undoubtedly resonate with my story. Some of you will not. Because, what I did not recognize were the other factors that played into my life. I did not see the privileges that brought my goals into closer reach.

In awakening to my privilege, I can’t say as soon as I realized it I was very comfortable with it. In fact, I’m still not. To be male, to be white, to be heterosexual, to be Protestant Christian, to be born into a middle class family, to be American; to say that these parts of me (and I say parts) are major influences of where I am today would not have made sense to me when I was growing up....

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THE DANCE OF DISCERNMENT

| Anne Williamson |

Whatever word to which you're drawn - vocation, purpose, meaning, work, calling, etc. - most of us believe its creation is at least a joint one. That is, our life is not wholly predetermined. If this is the case, then, how do we, as our vocation's joint, if not sole, creators, discern what to create?

There appears to be a common theme in the collective thinking around vocational discernment: it's a dance between being and doing, letting go and pursuing, listening and to borrow Martin's words in last week's reading, "[putting one's] butt in the chair." It doesn't matter whether we believe the inspiration is g/God's, our own, or some combination of the two; the dance is the same....

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DOES OUR LIFE HAVE A VOICE OF ITS OWN?

| Anne Williamson |

Less than 100 pages in, I knew The Invention of Wings would be a favorite. It tells the stories – separate yet entwined – of Sarah Grimke and, her slave, Hetty ‘Handful’ Grimke in the American Deep South in the nineteenth century. The two form an impossible friendship as they each struggle to find voice, find wings, in a world built upon their grounding. 

One of my most beloved excerpts from the book shares Sarah’s story right after she experiences hearing the Inner Voice, or voice of God, for the first time ...

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INVITATION: RISKY AND WORTH IT

| Anne Williamson |

Invitation is tough. It involves risk, courage, vulnerability… Will they hear and like my ideas? Will he say, “Yes”? Can I communicate my vision? Am I a good leader? Appreciated member of the team? Does she value my friendship like I value hers? Does he value me? Will they care as much as I do? Will they be fair? Will she show up? Gladly? Lovingly?

Often, these are questions to which we’re not sure we want the answers. Past experiences, current insecurities, ignorance, all make us wary of extending that invitation, of extending ourselves. It’s far easier and much safer simply not to ask. 

For all we risk in invitation, though, the alternative is actually far riskier....

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POLITICS IN THE BEDROOM? TURNS OUT, NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA.

| Anne Williamson |

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. A month ago, as I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. In fact, I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. 

I hope most of you will be taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, it’s not too late! In fact, several groups are starting this week instead of last. You can learn more and sign-up here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so.

COMPASSIONATELY HUMAN

| Anne Williamson |

I haven’t been feeling particularly spiritual lately. No high-brow thoughts of g/God or the meaning of life. No extraordinary moments of awe or generosity. Instead, my thoughts linger on the ordinary: what to fix for dinner, household projects and preparation for baby #2, how to motivate myself to walk more, game nights and favorite TV shows. As my emotions fluctuate from joy to sadness, loneliness to connection, anger to peace, I don’t feel at all “enlightened”; I feel deeply human....

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RETHINKING RESOLUTIONS

| Amanda Thrasher |

Will 2016 finally be the year we lose weight, get fit, pray or meditate more, spend more time with family, and better manage our finances? 

Skeptics answer with a resounding "no," many choosing to forego making any New Year's resolutions altogether. The more years we have not lived up to our high expectations for ourselves, the more sure we are the entire idea of New Year's resolution-making is a hoax. 

For those of us who harshly critique ourselves when we "fail" and expect nothing less than an externally imposed measure of "success," resolutions at the New Year can do more damage to our sense of self than good. They often encourage us to strive for an unhealthy perfectionism instead of a healthy self-acceptance. As we inevitably fail to reach such perfection, we may begin to harden our hearts to the hope of any lasting personal growth and change.

Despite such negative realities, I am not convinced we should relinquish the idea of the New Year's resolution altogether....

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COMING TO THE TABLE

| Chase Tibbs |

You can already feel the tension. The tug is coming from all sides. You feel you have to commit to one or the other. The middle ground is as grey as can be. And along with the wins, there are the losses that come with how you approach the conversations. On the one hand, if you don’t bring up conversation regarding the latest situation/news, aren’t you participating in the “quietness” around the current issue? On the other hand, if you bring up conversation on the current news, you may be risking your relationships because of your differing opinions and perspectives on said latest situation/news.

We live in a world where disagreeing is not tolerated. Multiple perspectives cannot find a harmonious community. Diversity in theologies and ideologies is unable to sit at the same table.

If only there was a handbook for conversation around the holidays when sitting with family and friends with whom we disagree...

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ONCE AGAIN, GRATEFULNESS

| Anne Williamson |

Life has been a little nutty for me lately. Between the pregnancy nausea and fatigue, busy work schedule, house to-dos, and I-must-try-out-every-emotion-available-in-the-next-30-seconds threenager living with us, I collapse into bed most nights. Perhaps you do too. It seems to be the way of things for all of us some of the time.

This is okay. Busy seasons of life are to be expected. What I don't like, what doesn't feel okay, is the stress. This daily anxiety of things left undone, opportunities missed - whether in work or with my child, husband, friends. Some of this stress feels unavoidable right now; but some, I must admit, is beginning to feel like a choice: a choice to wallow in it, a choice to not remind myself all is well. Choices that feel particularly misguided amid all the suffering I see. Choices the holiday season will prey on with its "never enough" drum beat. 

This is why, when discerning a blog post for this Thanksgiving, I felt the message I most need to hear, to speak once again, is the same as last year: gratefulness. Once again, and over and over, gratefulness. Perhaps you do too...

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FORGIVENESS AT THE HOLIDAY TABLE

| Anne Williamson |

All forgiveness involves grief… I will never know what it feels like to be a boy unconditionally loved by his father. The story of our marriage will never be a fairy tale again. I have broken people I love with my own brokenness. Those 10 years, I’ll never get those back. 

This is what makes forgiveness so hard. It’s also what makes it sticky. Our grief deserves space; we must give it time. And yet, hold on too long and you begin to identify with… no, as it. The grief becomes entangled in your self – shaping the stories you tell, the life you create.

My favorite definition of forgiveness comes from a 1990 guest on The Oprah Winfrey show named Harold. Paraphrasing him, Oprah says, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.” It’s not condoning or excusing; it’s accepting what was, and even what currently is…

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THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR?

| Anne Williamson |

It's November 1. You're still tearing open Halloween candy and storing away spiders, skulls and pumpkins. Perhaps Thanksgiving plans have been set, but the day itself is a surprising three and a half weeks away. And, if you purchase a tree at all, most likely you won't consider doing so until after the turkey - or tofurky - has been cut. All this may be true, but so is this... the Christmas season is here. 

Turn on a TV tonight, walk in a store tomorrow, and you're almost certain to see it: red and green ornaments; white lights; a jolly old man and his elves; ads trying to convince you the product they're selling is exactly what you, or mom or dad, or partner Tom, or little Johnny needs. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, it assaults you. It cannot be ignored completely.    

This isn't necessarily bad. Many of us enjoy Christmas; I know I do. But, even if you don't or it's not your tradition's holiday, it's still worth asking, "Is this season as joyful as it can be for me? My family? Community? Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?" ...

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JOY: WHAT'S THE EGO GOT TO DO WITH IT?

| Anne Williamson |

Oh, the ego! Such a tiny word, so many disparate opinions. Am I to love my ego or hate it? Embrace it or reject it? Is ambivalence a healthy choice?

For me, the jury is still out. However, I did recently run across an illuminating perspective. It comes from Vedic philosophy. (The Vedas are a large body of texts originating in India 3000 years ago; they are the oldest scriptures of Hinduism.) In this philosophy, there is a Sanskrit term ahamkara that is related to the ego. Essentially, my true self or soul, atma, enters a state of ahamkara when my mind begins identifying this true self/soul with external things, whether they be material (e.g., my body, possessions, kids) or conceptual (e.g. my thoughts, memories, preferences). In the Vedic tradition, this identification is an illusion.

In connecting this perspective to the Western term ego, some say ahamkara is the ego, others that the ego helps construct the illusion. Either way, my own experience supports this Vedic idea that to connect to - perhaps even reside in - my true self or soul is to stop my mind from identifying so heavily with the material or conceptual things around it. The truest, wisest part of me - the part that knows what really matters, what brings me real joy, what lessons I'm here to learn - is most accessible when I'm not in a state of ahamkara. 

I don't necessarily think this means the ego is entirely bad....

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