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| Anne C. Williamson | - Originally posted January 11, 2015

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in late January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It is kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week!

There is always room for more voices at the table. If you're curious, consider checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. Simply fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Lindsay)
Wednesdays, 11:30a - 1:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Rick)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Downtown) (Org. Facilitator: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Org. Facilitator: Jess)

Author’s 2019 Note: It’s interesting that much of the above blog applies to my experience this past week too - except Frozen has been replaced with Moana… Disney, you’re just too good! And yet, and this is gratifying to notice, this week was also not as hard as that week years ago, and I don’t think it has much to do with circumstances. I see the ways in which I am approaching life and my own “wonky mind” differently now. For example, I am teaching myself to not try and “push beyond” circumstances and the way my mind works sometimes but rather relax into them, allow them to be what they are, and notice, release, move from there. It’s subtle, and it’s helping. I share this because, first, and this is important: yea! And, second, the journey to one’s own spirit, to our True Self, does help. Who knows if we ever “arrive.” Lately, I’m thinking that’s not the point anyway. But, it seems to me, that when I follow my curiosity and creativity, my capacity for love and empathy - toward self and others and the Earth - and thus my capacity for joy does grow. It is not a straight line up in one direction but it is a moving toward, maybe a moving in that mysteriously also brings me more out than ever before. How nice to get this reminder. So, I thought I’d share it with you too. May it be so.

AND WITH A TINY FLAME...

We'll be back January 6th with information about our upcoming WAYkids' program and winter adult WAYfinding round. If you'd like to save-the-dates, our WAYkids' program will begin Sunday, January 13th and meet every 2nd and 4th Sunday afternoon (4:00 - 5:30p) of the month (January - June). Our WAYfinding winter round will begin the week of January 21st.

| Anne C. Williamson |

A couple weeks ago, good friends invited us over to celebrate Hanukkah. After listening to the story behind this Jewish ritual and tradition, the candles were lite, prayers recited and songs sung. Then, as the menorah was carried to the window and placed there, we learned this piece of the tradition is about being open, publicly sharing one's beliefs, as well as bringing a little more light to the world.

I loved the whole thing. I think my girls did too; but, of course, there was the typical young children drama around who got to light which candles as well as ecstatic focus on the chocolate gelt soon to come. So, I didn't know how much had been understood and appreciated.

The next day, at our own home, as the light outside had nearly gone, I heard my 5 year old suddenly exclaim, "The Christmas tree! We need to light it so we can bring light to the world." My eyes still tear up. Something about that moment encompasses so much of what I hope for my children.... That when the darkness surrounds them, they would hold on to the magic, mystery and beauty ever present in this world too. That they would find joy and meaning in their own tradition while understanding, deeply, that all traditions share a loving s/Source and thus can reflect and enrich one another. That they would believe they are part of bringing light to the world, that their daily actions and loving being matter.

Depending on the stage of life and context in which we find ourselves, the holidays can look so different from year-to-year and person-to-person. I don't know the sadness you may be carrying now, or the joy. But, in my own Christian Advent tradition, each Sunday I light a candle for you. I hold the light in my heart, give it physical form with a match, wick and wax, and pray for my own, for my girls' and husband's, for our community's and for the whole world's well-being. I pray for peace on earth, and with a tiny flame, that it would begin (again and again) with me.

WHAT KIND OF COMMUNITY IS NEEDED NOW?

We're spending the next two weeks in groups talking about community. Specifically, what kind of community is needed now in our society and how do we create it? We're going to be discussing "fitting in," common enemy intimacy, loneliness, social media and the trickiness of in-person community too, vulnerability and boundaries, empathy, forgiveness, and our inextricable human connection.

The below video, though focused on addiction, speaks so beautifully to our need for connection that I wanted to share it with you here. My favorite excerpt:

“Human beings have an innate need to bond and connect. When we are happy and healthy we will bond with the people around us. But when we can’t because we’re traumatized, isolated or beaten down by life, we will bond with something that gives us some sense of relief. It might be checking our smartphones constantly. It might be pornography. It might be gambling, etc. but we will bond with something because that is our human nature. The path out of unhealthy bonding is to form healthy bonds – to be connected to people who you want to be present with. Addiction is just one symptom of the crisis of disconnection that’s happening all around us. We all feel it....

For too long, we’ve talked only about individual recovery from addiction, but we need now to talk about social recovery. Because something has gone wrong with us as a group.... We are going to have to change the unnatural way we live and rediscover each other. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection.”

I hope you'll watch the whole video. It's worth it!

- Anne

TRUE BELONGING

| Anne Williamson |

We gather because it helps.

Life is hard and hard to figure out. It helps to give voice to this, to collectively belong to the questions and vulnerability, and to encourage one another in them. It helps – or more likely is absolutely necessary – to hear new narratives and perspectives in this questioning, “figuring out,” and living well.

This possible, "macro" reason for gathering is all about the benefits of community. And, clearly, not just any community; a community that truly helps holds certain values, engages in certain practices. Many of these are research-based, and we'll be discussing them in the coming weeks. But, this week, as we begin diving deeper into the topic of "Why Gather?," we're going to discuss Brene Brown's assertion that the kinds of communities for which we long are not possible without first belonging to one's self. She calls this "true belonging" - defined above - and this week we explore this idea for our own sake as well as the communities we long to create and sustain.

SIGN-UPS ARE OPEN FOR THE FALL 2018 ROUND!

SCHEDULE & DESCRIPTION

The fall round begins the week of September 10th and ends the week of November 5th. It's 8 weeks with a one-week break at the halfway point (groups will not meet the week of October 8th). This round will include a community week in late October.

SIGN-UP

Why gather in spiritual groups like these? Why gather for spiritual or religious reasons on Sundays or Fridays or whenever? What is the point? Does it do anything for us? For the world? What do we, as humans, need now, at this specific time in history, from these spaces? Can they deliver?

Join WAYfinding this fall as we explore these questions. Each week will begin with a possible answer, falling under one of three “macro” reasons for gathering: We gather because it helps. We gather to h/Hear s/Something deep and true. We gather to b/Be s/Something deep and true. Authors (and, for many, spiritual guides) Sue Monk Kidd, Parker Palmer, Brene Brown and Shawn Achor, among others, will be our teachers.

As always with WAYfinding, you will be encouraged and led to question, challenge, wonder, discuss and dive deep into your own experience. If you’ve ever been simultaneously drawn to and resistant to spiritual or religious gatherings, this will be a great round for you, helping you discover what is true for you and resting easier in it.

Hope to have your voice in the conversation this fall!

GROUPS

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitator & Host: Anne)
Tuesdays, 12:00 - 1:45p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 10:30a - 12:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators: Carolyn & Rick; Host: Anne) (Childcare available; cost split between parents.)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Irvington) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Downtown) (Facilitator: Julie; Host: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Facilitator & Host: Bob)

** Newcomers are not asked to facilitate or host. Of course, you’re welcome to, if you’d like. 

SIGN UP

COST

For those who can afford it, there is a cost with the WAYfinding experience. Each round we ask you make an investment in yourself of $50 - $150. It's a sliding scale; you pay what you can. And, if you can't pay, simply select our Scholarship Fund when signing up - that's all there is to it. Invest online here.

Or, you may become a sustaining member of WAYfinding by making a recurring donation of at least $30 per month. This option is not just an investment in yourself - all rounds are included - but in others. Your recurring donation (or quarterly/yearly, if you prefer) helps us sponsor new and existing participants, "get the word out," invest in public speakers and new programs, etc. You can learn more about our different investment levels here.

A WHOLE BIGGER FAMILY

WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.

So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.  

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Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.

Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…

We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."     

Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…

1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.

2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”

3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer

"What Is g/God?" Meditation
 
If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.
 
Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.                       

And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.

Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.
 
If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"
 
Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.

I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!

Thank you!,
Anne

ORPHAN HEROES

Thank you to everyone who participated in the spring round with us, or any round this year, or WAYkids. Your unique voice is essential to what we're creating. Thank you!

WAYfinding takes the summers off from groups. However, you'll still be hearing from us through the writings of fellow WAYfinders. Every week or two, a new post will be shared through the newsletter. Giving voice to a diversity of perspectives is a core value of WAYfinding's. Our summer community blog posts are one of the ways we practice this value.

We look forward to gathering again in September!

| Jon Cracraft |

A major problem in the world is the dilemma of moral authoritarianism vs. moral relativism, or religious fundamentalism vs. religious relativism, or ethnocentrism vs cultural relativism, or what is it OK to be tolerant of and what is it not OK to be tolerant of and why, or when does it become OK to judge the behavior of different groups of people?

Was Andrew Jackson morally better than Adolf Hitler? Was Thomas Jefferson morally better than Joseph Stalin? How could anyone claim to make such moral judgements?

And yet, how can we refuse to make such moral judgements?

We should not tolerate sex trafficking or sweat shop labor or hate crimes or murder or robbery.

But should we tolerate vandalism? Should we tolerate public nudity? Should we tolerate political corruption? Should we tolerate sexist jokes? If we are going to allow ourselves to judge others, how do we know where to stop?

Is there an objective way to answer such questions? Is there a moral compass inside of us that tells us where to draw the line?

This is the dilemma of moral authoritarianism vs. moral relativism.

If there is a moral compass inside of us, it seems it is easily masked or broken by our own cultural bias.

How do we see our own bias? How do we remove it?

I don’t know.

But I’ve been thinking about these questions in the context of another question I’ve had about orphans and heroes and why so many heroes are orphans in folklore from around the world.

Perhaps people around the world tell stories about orphan heroes because they believe that orphans are more likely to accept heroic quests – because they have nothing holding them back, nothing to give up, nothing to lose. They also have no culture of their own – parents are universally recognized as the primary transmitters of culture to their children. Without cultural indoctrination from their parents, orphan heroes have no cultural bias – hence they have nothing to obscure or break their moral compass which is, in part, what helps them to succeed on their heroic quests.

So if we want to learn to see our cultural bias and to remove it, perhaps we can learn from the heroic orphans of folklore. Perhaps that which prevents us from seeing our own bias is the comfort of the home and our families and our fear of losing these things. Perhaps this is also what prevents us from taking leaps of faith, from embarking upon heroic quests and from following our dreams.

Maybe. Or maybe not. :)

Jon has often felt caught searching for compromises between opposing forces and identities: mainstream vs counter-culture; materialism vs anti-materialism; commerciality vs spirituality; establishment vs revolution. After dropping out of graduate school, he wandered, lived on communes - eventually becoming a teacher at an alternative school. Upon moving back to Indianapolis, he was unexpectedly offered a management position by the regional agency for MassMutual, where he eventually became the director of financial planning. He is currently the director of client services for a local wealth management firm, C.H. Douglas & Gray. He lives with his wife and young daughter and son.

IN MARRIAGE AND DEMOCRACY WE MUST STOP DEMONIZING THE "OTHER"

| Anne Williamson |

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. As I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between former President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. In particular, pay attention to what both articles say about how to stop demonizing the o/Other in your life so there's space for a new story to emerge.  

Many of you are already taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, you're welcome anytime. We're at the halfway point, and you'd be welcome to jump in (at half the cost) for the last 4 weeks to see what you think. Sign-up for the group of your choice here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so for you this week.