| Kate Miller |

Separation, the deadliest of sins.
— Kate Miller

The last round of WAYfinding solidified a more universal definition of sin for me: separation. Specifically, to ask myself, “Where in my life is separation taking place and how am I at cause?” 

Earlier this month, I had the experience of being in the presence of two people who at their core are very similar, though their lives have played out quite differently. One builds bridges, causing people of differing backgrounds to connect through his creative talent. The other abandoned his creative talent and burned countless bridges due to the consequences of his choices.

It may begin in subtle ways, early in our life; but, over time, patterns of habitual thoughts, words, actions develop causing separation – from ourselves, others and what we may call god.

I wanted to take a look at my own life: Where have my actions caused separation from others? In review, sure, there were times boundaries were necessary; but, at other times, my acts of separation caused others and myself to be unnecessarily negatively affected. 

I discovered, in every instance of separation, it was not about the other… it was really about me, our own selves.  The other is simply a mirror or a teacher of a lesson we came here to learn. And, if we don’t get the lesson another “teacher” is going to show up. Hopefully, we make an adjustment, become more aware of our patterns of thought that turn into words and actions that unconsciously separate us from what we really desire.  

For me, positive change began with starting to observe myself, bringing my patterns into Conscious awareness, which then opened me to the possibility to choose differently.  

Another most important step is doing the work of forgiveness. Just like mindfulness, forgiveness is a daily practice. It too, though, provides the path back home to self.

We can live a more joyful life as we discover fresh alternatives. When difficulties arise, acknowledge where we are being triggered - hooked in an unconscious, unhelpful pattern of thought and action. Then, disrupt the difficulty and pattern by choosing to do something different.

Finally, let go of judgment – of self and others.

Make this a way of life. 


Begin to notice this week when you feel separate - from yourself, others, god. Observe your thought patterns. Do you tend to act out from these thoughts? How so? Try and disrupt the pattern by choosing differently. Try something new, let go of judgment, and see what comes.