| Anne Williamson |
Though I've yet to write the official description for the coming spring round, I want to share with you why I'm excited about our topic of Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, and why I think it is the right topic now….
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THIS IS WHAT THIS ELECTION WAS ABOUT
| Anne Williamson |
This has been a tough year. And, the past two and a half weeks have ached in a way I perhaps haven’t yet experienced. It’s not just that as a woman I feel rejected and widely unseen. Or, that as a sister, friend and ally, I cry for the pain and fear my Muslim, immigrant, people of color, and LGBTQ human family is experiencing. Or, the worry I feel for Mother Earth. And, it’s not even just that I am afraid. I was afraid after 09.11. It’s that I’m starting to doubt whether this grand melting pot experiment called America is going to work. Our nation feels divided and to quote Lincoln, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
So, I’ve been asking, “What do I do now? What do we do now?” And, honestly, I’m still sorting this out. I’m not entirely sure. But, two things are bubbling to the surface....
FACING THE SHADOW SIDE
| Kim Parker |
When I first began learning about the Enneagram and its nine personality types, I hadn’t yet taken any sort of test or assessment. I learned about all nine types within a two-day workshop. So, on my own, with all the new knowledge I had gathered, I identified my type – or so I thought.
I was fairly confident I was a type 3; but, when I took the test, the results indicated I was a type 9. My immediate thought was, “What?! I am not a sloth!”...
THE ENNEAGRAM: THE WAYFINDING WAY
| Anne Williamson |
Questions are central to the WAYfinding experience. Through the use of diverse resources, we release ideas and curiosities into the community so each of us can strengthen our i/Intuition or w/Wisdom or whatever-w/Word-works-for-you muscles. Then, we encourage each other to live out what we h/Hear. This is our way of being.
So, it's a little odd to be embarking on a topic for an entire round that requires so much instruction. The Enneagram to a certain extent must be taught. We're discovering, though, we can still inject the WAYfinding way. Here are two examples as to how....
CROSSING THE ABYSS
| Kim Parker |
I had taken nearly every personality test that existed throughout my eleven year career in higher education: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Strengths Finder, DiSC Profile, Multiple Intelligences Inventory, Intrinsic Motivation Assessment Guide, and the list goes on. It was part of my full-time job to teach college students how to grow in self-knowledge and find a career path through these assessments. So, it comes as no surprise my confidence level regarding my own self-knowledge was fairly high.
Then…life took an unexpected turn....
ARE YOU BLESSED?
| Anne Williamson |
There are a number of “churchy” words people don’t like. I took an informal survey and heard: devil, saved, psalm, believer, hell, sin, lost, and my favorite response, “I’ll email you my [presumably long] list. [wink, wink].” Sometimes we simply don’t like how a word sounds. (I’m assuming this is the case with “psalm”; “pew” would be my vote.) More often, we dislike what a word means, how it has been used. This is certainly the case with my least favorite “churchy” word: blessed. Despite often spoken with good intention, it always evokes in me a thoroughly “icky” feeling.
For me, “blessed” is the theological coin flip to “everything happens for a reason.” Life going well: “I am blessed.” Life going not so well: “I am… not… blessed?” “No no, God has a plan; we just don’t always ‘get it.’” All phrases that, somehow, claim too much control over one’s life and not enough at the same time.
Lately, though, as I flounder through the unpredictability (translate “infant”) and volume (translate “toddler”) of my life, I’ve been thinking about the word “blessed” differently. ...
CENTER
| Anne Williamson |
By the time anyone reads this blog post, I’ll have a new baby at home. She’ll only be a few weeks old. How will I feel? Perhaps lovely… baby is relatively easy, toddler is adjusting well, the “feel good” hormones are rolling, friends and family are near and welcome. Life is good. Or, maybe, I’ll feel awful… utterly exhausted by a colicky baby and distraught toddler, isolated and intentionally isolating myself in the throws of post-partum. Life will not feel so good.
Most likely, reality will fall somewhere in-between. My life will be both sweet and trying. This seems to be the way of things most of the time – especially in seasons of transition…and limited sleep.
What I believe, what I trust, is it will be how I react in the midst of the trying moments that will help determine how long they last and how deeply they’re felt....
Read MoreFINDING MEANING
| Chase Tibbs |
Has the contemplation of your own existence ever left you feeling anxious? Every wonder and worry about the purpose and meaning of life, your life? Me too.
I’ve wondered what life, the actuality of existing, means. What does it mean to say life has purpose? On the flip side, what would it mean for me, and every human being, and the animals that cover the land, and the fish that care for the sea, and even the atoms that work beyond my knowing…what would it mean to say that all of this, all of living, is meaningless?
I know; kinda heavy stuff, right? In my past, I’ve either been afraid to ask the question or have jumped to find an answer. It’s this mystery, complexity and depth of life that makes me shutter; while it’s also the mystery, complexity and depth of life that has inspired me to imagine, and wonder, and ask challenging questions....
Read MoreTO GET WHERE WE'RE GOING...
| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
Regular “exercise” is part of the daily lives of many octogenarians, but for those in Blue Zone communities, that doesn’t mean what you might think.
Rather than spending extra hours at the gym or walking for the sake of accumulating miles, such people live in environments conducive to making regular movement a natural part of their everyday lives. They don’t have to go out of their way to get exercise because it is structured into what they already do.
Often, this is as simple as doing regular tasks by hand, the old-fashioned way, without the assistance of modern technology and devices....
Read MoreCREATING MEANINGFUL MEALS
| Anne Williamson |
Saturday, many from the WAYfinding community gathered for dinner and conversation around creating meaningful meals. We prepped and served spaghetti and salad - delicious, and inspired by last week's "Friday Night Meatballs" article, intentionally simple. Then, while the kids engaged in their own learning activities, the adults heard from Indiana farmer Jeff Hawkins of Hawkins Family Farms. What a joy! Jeff and his family's approach to farming is holistic and deeply thoughtful. I, and others, left feeling inspired and hopeful for Indiana agriculture.
So engrossed in the conversation with Jeff, we didn't get to part 2: creating a more meaningful experience around the dinner table. It's about being intentional with this time - living into our values - rather than simply going through the motions when we eat. So in lieu of that conversation, and for others who may be interested, I invite you to reflect personally on the below questions as well as consider integrating some of the suggested ideas....
A YEAR LATER, WHY I'M STILL ATTEMPTING COMMUNITY
| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
When I was younger, finding community seemed easy. As a child, I simply had to go into the backyard and yell the names of the neighborhood kids until someone came out to play. School, sports, and extracurricular activities provided plenty of opportunities to bond with others over shared experiences, goals, and triumphs or losses.
I spent most of my 20s in similarly structured spaces – college, volunteer corps, and grad school – where proximity to people with common interests was something that could be taken for granted. Add in the fact that most of us lived in practically identical housing, and there wasn’t much to worry about as far as what other people would think of my dorm room or apartment.
Exposure to so many people made it easy to find friends, and if I wanted company for a meal, an event, or pretty much anything, I could always find someone who would enthusiastically join me. When some students would graduate, new ones would move in, and my circle of friends naturally evolved to accommodate these changes.
Now, however, community seems a lot more elusive....
Read MoreTHE MYTH OF INDEPENDENCE
| Anne Williamson |
Always curious, even anxious, about what I was meant to do with my life, as a teenager, my parents lovingly took me to a career counselor. The process took nearly all day, as there were numerous interviews, and aptitude and personality tests. Finally, all three of us sat down with the head honcho to hear his analysis of my results. What would he say? Was my vocational destiny finally to be revealed?
It was not. I remember only two things from that conversation. One, he did not say I would one day become an unconventional minister. And, two, he did say I was “neurotically self-reliant.”
It is for this second remembrance that I share this story. I often think our entire society shares my disease....
THE TRUE HOLISM OF HEALTH
| Anne Williamson |
Watching Dan Buettner's 2011 TEDMED Talk on Blue Zones fills me with both relief and dread. In it, Buettner shares the key to health and vitality he's discovered through studying pockets of people around the world with the highest proportion of people who reach 100 (i.e. Blue Zones) as well as those rare communities who have improved their health and maintained it: the whole system must be addressed. Perhaps you now understand my contradictory response.
On the one hand, my health and vitality is not, cannot be, entirely in my hands. What a relief! Shame, be gone! On the other hand, my health and vitality is not entirely in my hands, meaning a whole system must be corrected! The Yiddish exclamation "oy vey" comes to mind. This is bound to be a complicated, lengthy process! Can we really change all the misguided systems and policies that affect our collective health in this country? Can we change culture?
Sure. Of course we can. Culture is changing all the time. And, what I love about this particular collective calling is how beautifully the science mirrors our own growing spiritual intuition: we are all interconnected. I cannot be deeply healthy, truly whole, unless you are too. And, not just the "you" next door or half way around the world, but also the "you" generations from now; our interconnectedness is across time as well as geography.
Is this reality more complicated, messy? Of course. But, it's also more beautiful and filled with meaning. Health and vitality is truly a holistic pursuit. I, for one, as part of the One, am glad.
SPRING ROUND STARTS THIS WEEK!
Our spring round kicks off this week! Dan Buettner's TEDTalk as well as this article on how income inequality affects health will shape our conversation. In addition, we'll reflect personally on how fulfilled we currently are in nine interconnected, good health categories using the "Fulfillment Wheel" pictured. At the round's end, after addressing each category, we'll fill out the wheel again and see what's changed. It's going to be a great round! And, there is always more room at the table! If you are interested in joining the conversation, learn more and sign-up here. You are welcome to simply check a group out the first week or two; if it's not for you, no need to continue.
CRACKS
| Anne Williamson |
It’s 5:00a, and I can’t sleep. I am listening to Daniel Goleman talk to Oprah about his ground-breaking work on emotional intelligence. I remember when his initial book on the subject came out. It was 1995; I was 14 years old and struggling beneath an eating disorder and depression. His book was a life line for me: for the first time, I glimpsed a future where my deep emotions and thoughts might not be weights on my life, but propellers toward success, or what I now call wholeness. Goleman’s work cracked open my current paradigm. Thank g/God.
In any particular moment in time, it is easy to believe nothing will ever shift our perspective so dramatically....
Read MoreTHE RESPONSIBILITY TO BLESS
| Chase Tibbs |
The western hills of Pennsylvania were a wonderful place to grow up. I spent the first eighteen years of my life loved and supported by people who invested deeply in me. Some of you will undoubtedly resonate with my story. Some of you will not. Because, what I did not recognize were the other factors that played into my life. I did not see the privileges that brought my goals into closer reach.
In awakening to my privilege, I can’t say as soon as I realized it I was very comfortable with it. In fact, I’m still not. To be male, to be white, to be heterosexual, to be Protestant Christian, to be born into a middle class family, to be American; to say that these parts of me (and I say parts) are major influences of where I am today would not have made sense to me when I was growing up....
Read MoreINVITATION: RISKY AND WORTH IT
| Anne Williamson |
Invitation is tough. It involves risk, courage, vulnerability… Will they hear and like my ideas? Will he say, “Yes”? Can I communicate my vision? Am I a good leader? Appreciated member of the team? Does she value my friendship like I value hers? Does he value me? Will they care as much as I do? Will they be fair? Will she show up? Gladly? Lovingly?
Often, these are questions to which we’re not sure we want the answers. Past experiences, current insecurities, ignorance, all make us wary of extending that invitation, of extending ourselves. It’s far easier and much safer simply not to ask.
For all we risk in invitation, though, the alternative is actually far riskier....
Read MorePOLITICS IN THE BEDROOM? TURNS OUT, NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA.
| Anne Williamson |
Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. A month ago, as I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.
As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. In fact, I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us.
I hope most of you will be taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, it’s not too late! In fact, several groups are starting this week instead of last. You can learn more and sign-up here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so.
COMPASSIONATELY HUMAN
| Anne Williamson |
I haven’t been feeling particularly spiritual lately. No high-brow thoughts of g/God or the meaning of life. No extraordinary moments of awe or generosity. Instead, my thoughts linger on the ordinary: what to fix for dinner, household projects and preparation for baby #2, how to motivate myself to walk more, game nights and favorite TV shows. As my emotions fluctuate from joy to sadness, loneliness to connection, anger to peace, I don’t feel at all “enlightened”; I feel deeply human....
Read MoreCOMING TO THE TABLE
| Chase Tibbs |
You can already feel the tension. The tug is coming from all sides. You feel you have to commit to one or the other. The middle ground is as grey as can be. And along with the wins, there are the losses that come with how you approach the conversations. On the one hand, if you don’t bring up conversation regarding the latest situation/news, aren’t you participating in the “quietness” around the current issue? On the other hand, if you bring up conversation on the current news, you may be risking your relationships because of your differing opinions and perspectives on said latest situation/news.
We live in a world where disagreeing is not tolerated. Multiple perspectives cannot find a harmonious community. Diversity in theologies and ideologies is unable to sit at the same table.
If only there was a handbook for conversation around the holidays when sitting with family and friends with whom we disagree...
Read MoreONCE AGAIN, GRATEFULNESS
| Anne Williamson |
Life has been a little nutty for me lately. Between the pregnancy nausea and fatigue, busy work schedule, house to-dos, and I-must-try-out-every-emotion-available-in-the-next-30-seconds threenager living with us, I collapse into bed most nights. Perhaps you do too. It seems to be the way of things for all of us some of the time.
This is okay. Busy seasons of life are to be expected. What I don't like, what doesn't feel okay, is the stress. This daily anxiety of things left undone, opportunities missed - whether in work or with my child, husband, friends. Some of this stress feels unavoidable right now; but some, I must admit, is beginning to feel like a choice: a choice to wallow in it, a choice to not remind myself all is well. Choices that feel particularly misguided amid all the suffering I see. Choices the holiday season will prey on with its "never enough" drum beat.
This is why, when discerning a blog post for this Thanksgiving, I felt the message I most need to hear, to speak once again, is the same as last year: gratefulness. Once again, and over and over, gratefulness. Perhaps you do too...
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