| Anne Williamson |
This has been a tough year. And, the past two and a half weeks have ached in a way I perhaps haven’t yet experienced. It’s not just that as a woman I feel rejected and widely unseen. Or, that as a sister, friend and ally, I cry for the pain and fear my Muslim, immigrant, people of color, and LGBTQ human family is experiencing. Or, the worry I feel for Mother Earth. And, it’s not even just that I am afraid. I was afraid after 09.11. It’s that I’m starting to doubt whether this grand melting pot experiment called America is going to work. Our nation feels divided and to quote Lincoln, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
So, I’ve been asking, “What do I do now? What do we do now?” And, honestly, I’m still sorting this out. I’m not entirely sure. But, two things are bubbling to the surface....
FACING THE SHADOW SIDE
| Kim Parker |
When I first began learning about the Enneagram and its nine personality types, I hadn’t yet taken any sort of test or assessment. I learned about all nine types within a two-day workshop. So, on my own, with all the new knowledge I had gathered, I identified my type – or so I thought.
I was fairly confident I was a type 3; but, when I took the test, the results indicated I was a type 9. My immediate thought was, “What?! I am not a sloth!”...
THE ENNEAGRAM: THE WAYFINDING WAY
| Anne Williamson |
Questions are central to the WAYfinding experience. Through the use of diverse resources, we release ideas and curiosities into the community so each of us can strengthen our i/Intuition or w/Wisdom or whatever-w/Word-works-for-you muscles. Then, we encourage each other to live out what we h/Hear. This is our way of being.
So, it's a little odd to be embarking on a topic for an entire round that requires so much instruction. The Enneagram to a certain extent must be taught. We're discovering, though, we can still inject the WAYfinding way. Here are two examples as to how....
CROSSING THE ABYSS
| Kim Parker |
I had taken nearly every personality test that existed throughout my eleven year career in higher education: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Strengths Finder, DiSC Profile, Multiple Intelligences Inventory, Intrinsic Motivation Assessment Guide, and the list goes on. It was part of my full-time job to teach college students how to grow in self-knowledge and find a career path through these assessments. So, it comes as no surprise my confidence level regarding my own self-knowledge was fairly high.
Then…life took an unexpected turn....
GETTING UNSTUCK
| Anne Williamson |
I find it difficult to share a definitive opinion on controversial subjects. One reason I see as positive: I am at ease in the gray, generally believing I am one conversation away from understanding someone else’s perspective. The other reason is often problematic: I like to be liked, for others to think well of me.
Take last week; for example. I come out as a person who doesn’t like the word “blessed” or the phrase “everything happens for a reason.” That should be easy enough for me to share, but it wasn’t. Soon after the newsletter sent, I read a friend’s Facebook story about a little girl battling cancer who finds solace in a song titled, “You [meaning, God] know better than I.” And, immediately, I felt like an asshole. Then, two people unsubscribed from the newsletter, and I couldn’t help but feel a little rejected.
The good news is I now recognize this self-talk for what it is: the ego, fear. And, perhaps not coincidentally, through my own current exploration of the Enneagram, our topic this fall, I’m coming to understand this personal dynamic even better. ...
Read MoreCENTER
| Anne Williamson |
By the time anyone reads this blog post, I’ll have a new baby at home. She’ll only be a few weeks old. How will I feel? Perhaps lovely… baby is relatively easy, toddler is adjusting well, the “feel good” hormones are rolling, friends and family are near and welcome. Life is good. Or, maybe, I’ll feel awful… utterly exhausted by a colicky baby and distraught toddler, isolated and intentionally isolating myself in the throws of post-partum. Life will not feel so good.
Most likely, reality will fall somewhere in-between. My life will be both sweet and trying. This seems to be the way of things most of the time – especially in seasons of transition…and limited sleep.
What I believe, what I trust, is it will be how I react in the midst of the trying moments that will help determine how long they last and how deeply they’re felt....
Read MoreTO GET WHERE WE'RE GOING...
| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
Regular “exercise” is part of the daily lives of many octogenarians, but for those in Blue Zone communities, that doesn’t mean what you might think.
Rather than spending extra hours at the gym or walking for the sake of accumulating miles, such people live in environments conducive to making regular movement a natural part of their everyday lives. They don’t have to go out of their way to get exercise because it is structured into what they already do.
Often, this is as simple as doing regular tasks by hand, the old-fashioned way, without the assistance of modern technology and devices....
Read MoreEATING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
| Ashley Parsons |
When I was a massage therapist, I would ask my clients, “Do you treat your car better than your body?” When we buy a car, the dealer tells us to make sure we use the right gasoline, change our oil regularly, keep coolant in the radiator and make sure to go to our regular maintenance inspections. What would happen if we didn’t? At best, our cars would stop running. Would we ever put anything other than gasoline in our engine? Not unless you wanted to replace your engine. Would you drive your car on a highway at 90 mph for days or weeks on end, without a break? Probably not. Yet, we (me included) do this everyday with our bodies. We go all day long, with no breaks, and we refuel with nutrient deficient foods. Unfortunately, our bodies don’t have a check engine light they can turn on, nor do we start smoking out of our ears or get a flat tire. Our bodies do start to get run down and not function at their optimal levels. Our “parts” get overworked and worn out.
When it comes to food, the things we put in our mouth have changed tremendously over the past 100 years....
Read MoreCREATING MEANINGFUL MEALS
| Anne Williamson |
Saturday, many from the WAYfinding community gathered for dinner and conversation around creating meaningful meals. We prepped and served spaghetti and salad - delicious, and inspired by last week's "Friday Night Meatballs" article, intentionally simple. Then, while the kids engaged in their own learning activities, the adults heard from Indiana farmer Jeff Hawkins of Hawkins Family Farms. What a joy! Jeff and his family's approach to farming is holistic and deeply thoughtful. I, and others, left feeling inspired and hopeful for Indiana agriculture.
So engrossed in the conversation with Jeff, we didn't get to part 2: creating a more meaningful experience around the dinner table. It's about being intentional with this time - living into our values - rather than simply going through the motions when we eat. So in lieu of that conversation, and for others who may be interested, I invite you to reflect personally on the below questions as well as consider integrating some of the suggested ideas....
THE MYTH OF INDEPENDENCE
| Anne Williamson |
Always curious, even anxious, about what I was meant to do with my life, as a teenager, my parents lovingly took me to a career counselor. The process took nearly all day, as there were numerous interviews, and aptitude and personality tests. Finally, all three of us sat down with the head honcho to hear his analysis of my results. What would he say? Was my vocational destiny finally to be revealed?
It was not. I remember only two things from that conversation. One, he did not say I would one day become an unconventional minister. And, two, he did say I was “neurotically self-reliant.”
It is for this second remembrance that I share this story. I often think our entire society shares my disease....
THE TRUE HOLISM OF HEALTH
| Anne Williamson |
Watching Dan Buettner's 2011 TEDMED Talk on Blue Zones fills me with both relief and dread. In it, Buettner shares the key to health and vitality he's discovered through studying pockets of people around the world with the highest proportion of people who reach 100 (i.e. Blue Zones) as well as those rare communities who have improved their health and maintained it: the whole system must be addressed. Perhaps you now understand my contradictory response.
On the one hand, my health and vitality is not, cannot be, entirely in my hands. What a relief! Shame, be gone! On the other hand, my health and vitality is not entirely in my hands, meaning a whole system must be corrected! The Yiddish exclamation "oy vey" comes to mind. This is bound to be a complicated, lengthy process! Can we really change all the misguided systems and policies that affect our collective health in this country? Can we change culture?
Sure. Of course we can. Culture is changing all the time. And, what I love about this particular collective calling is how beautifully the science mirrors our own growing spiritual intuition: we are all interconnected. I cannot be deeply healthy, truly whole, unless you are too. And, not just the "you" next door or half way around the world, but also the "you" generations from now; our interconnectedness is across time as well as geography.
Is this reality more complicated, messy? Of course. But, it's also more beautiful and filled with meaning. Health and vitality is truly a holistic pursuit. I, for one, as part of the One, am glad.
SPRING ROUND STARTS THIS WEEK!
Our spring round kicks off this week! Dan Buettner's TEDTalk as well as this article on how income inequality affects health will shape our conversation. In addition, we'll reflect personally on how fulfilled we currently are in nine interconnected, good health categories using the "Fulfillment Wheel" pictured. At the round's end, after addressing each category, we'll fill out the wheel again and see what's changed. It's going to be a great round! And, there is always more room at the table! If you are interested in joining the conversation, learn more and sign-up here. You are welcome to simply check a group out the first week or two; if it's not for you, no need to continue.
CRACKS
| Anne Williamson |
It’s 5:00a, and I can’t sleep. I am listening to Daniel Goleman talk to Oprah about his ground-breaking work on emotional intelligence. I remember when his initial book on the subject came out. It was 1995; I was 14 years old and struggling beneath an eating disorder and depression. His book was a life line for me: for the first time, I glimpsed a future where my deep emotions and thoughts might not be weights on my life, but propellers toward success, or what I now call wholeness. Goleman’s work cracked open my current paradigm. Thank g/God.
In any particular moment in time, it is easy to believe nothing will ever shift our perspective so dramatically....
Read MoreFINDING PEACE & JOY, SIMPLY
| Anne Williamson |
I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.
This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I kept making changes because I found peace in doing so.
This peace has come not with any sort of “arrival” but through the journey of gradually eliminating some things so that other things may speak more freely, may take up more space, in my life....
Read MoreRETHINKING RESOLUTIONS
| Amanda Thrasher |
Will 2016 finally be the year we lose weight, get fit, pray or meditate more, spend more time with family, and better manage our finances?
Skeptics answer with a resounding "no," many choosing to forego making any New Year's resolutions altogether. The more years we have not lived up to our high expectations for ourselves, the more sure we are the entire idea of New Year's resolution-making is a hoax.
For those of us who harshly critique ourselves when we "fail" and expect nothing less than an externally imposed measure of "success," resolutions at the New Year can do more damage to our sense of self than good. They often encourage us to strive for an unhealthy perfectionism instead of a healthy self-acceptance. As we inevitably fail to reach such perfection, we may begin to harden our hearts to the hope of any lasting personal growth and change.
Despite such negative realities, I am not convinced we should relinquish the idea of the New Year's resolution altogether....
Read MoreONCE AGAIN, GRATEFULNESS
| Anne Williamson |
Life has been a little nutty for me lately. Between the pregnancy nausea and fatigue, busy work schedule, house to-dos, and I-must-try-out-every-emotion-available-in-the-next-30-seconds threenager living with us, I collapse into bed most nights. Perhaps you do too. It seems to be the way of things for all of us some of the time.
This is okay. Busy seasons of life are to be expected. What I don't like, what doesn't feel okay, is the stress. This daily anxiety of things left undone, opportunities missed - whether in work or with my child, husband, friends. Some of this stress feels unavoidable right now; but some, I must admit, is beginning to feel like a choice: a choice to wallow in it, a choice to not remind myself all is well. Choices that feel particularly misguided amid all the suffering I see. Choices the holiday season will prey on with its "never enough" drum beat.
This is why, when discerning a blog post for this Thanksgiving, I felt the message I most need to hear, to speak once again, is the same as last year: gratefulness. Once again, and over and over, gratefulness. Perhaps you do too...
Read MoreFORGIVENESS AT THE HOLIDAY TABLE
| Anne Williamson |
All forgiveness involves grief… I will never know what it feels like to be a boy unconditionally loved by his father. The story of our marriage will never be a fairy tale again. I have broken people I love with my own brokenness. Those 10 years, I’ll never get those back.
This is what makes forgiveness so hard. It’s also what makes it sticky. Our grief deserves space; we must give it time. And yet, hold on too long and you begin to identify with… no, as it. The grief becomes entangled in your self – shaping the stories you tell, the life you create.
My favorite definition of forgiveness comes from a 1990 guest on The Oprah Winfrey show named Harold. Paraphrasing him, Oprah says, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.” It’s not condoning or excusing; it’s accepting what was, and even what currently is…
Read MoreTHE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR?
| Anne Williamson |
It's November 1. You're still tearing open Halloween candy and storing away spiders, skulls and pumpkins. Perhaps Thanksgiving plans have been set, but the day itself is a surprising three and a half weeks away. And, if you purchase a tree at all, most likely you won't consider doing so until after the turkey - or tofurky - has been cut. All this may be true, but so is this... the Christmas season is here.
Turn on a TV tonight, walk in a store tomorrow, and you're almost certain to see it: red and green ornaments; white lights; a jolly old man and his elves; ads trying to convince you the product they're selling is exactly what you, or mom or dad, or partner Tom, or little Johnny needs. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, it assaults you. It cannot be ignored completely.
This isn't necessarily bad. Many of us enjoy Christmas; I know I do. But, even if you don't or it's not your tradition's holiday, it's still worth asking, "Is this season as joyful as it can be for me? My family? Community? Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?" ...
Read MoreJOY: WHAT'S THE EGO GOT TO DO WITH IT?
| Anne Williamson |
Oh, the ego! Such a tiny word, so many disparate opinions. Am I to love my ego or hate it? Embrace it or reject it? Is ambivalence a healthy choice?
For me, the jury is still out. However, I did recently run across an illuminating perspective. It comes from Vedic philosophy. (The Vedas are a large body of texts originating in India 3000 years ago; they are the oldest scriptures of Hinduism.) In this philosophy, there is a Sanskrit term ahamkara that is related to the ego. Essentially, my true self or soul, atma, enters a state of ahamkara when my mind begins identifying this true self/soul with external things, whether they be material (e.g., my body, possessions, kids) or conceptual (e.g. my thoughts, memories, preferences). In the Vedic tradition, this identification is an illusion.
In connecting this perspective to the Western term ego, some say ahamkara is the ego, others that the ego helps construct the illusion. Either way, my own experience supports this Vedic idea that to connect to - perhaps even reside in - my true self or soul is to stop my mind from identifying so heavily with the material or conceptual things around it. The truest, wisest part of me - the part that knows what really matters, what brings me real joy, what lessons I'm here to learn - is most accessible when I'm not in a state of ahamkara.
I don't necessarily think this means the ego is entirely bad....
ON BEING WRONG
WAYfinding and Speak Your Story present... On Being Wrong
Ira Glass, host of NPR’s “This American Life,” told “Wrongologist” Kathryn Schulz that “as a staff, we joke that every single episode of our show has the same crypto-theme: I thought this one thing was going to happen and something else happened instead.” This is the crypto-theme of every good story because this is the truth of life. So, why do we resist it!?
Join us as we hear from three individuals whose stories were broken open and made infinitely more interesting by being wrong. They'll share, we'll ask questions, consider our own stories, and all walk away a bit braver when it comes to being wrong.
Doors open @ 6:30p. Event begins at 7:00p. Beer, wine and non-alcoholic refreshments provided, as well as a few nibblies.
Sugguested donation: $10 per person
LET US KNOW YOU'RE COMING ON FACEBOOK OR EMAIL
Our Storytellers:
Jonathan Cracraft
Jon has often felt caught searching for compromises between opposing forces and identities: mainstream vs counter-culture; materialism vs anti-materialism; commerciality vs spirituality; establishment vs revolution. After dropping out of graduate school, he wandered, lived on communes - eventually becoming a teacher at an alternative school. Upon moving back to Indianapolis, he was unexpectedly offered a management position by the regional agency for MassMutual, where he eventually became the director of financial planning. He is currently the director of client services for a local wealth management firm, C.H. Douglas & Gray. He lives with his wife and young daughter. He is well qualified to speak about being wrong.
Sandra Gutridge Harris
Sandra has been a storyteller since 1976. She has told in festivals around the country and in venues as varied as the Indiana Women's Prison and the White House Easter Egg Roll. She and her husband were active in civil rights in Birmingham, Ala. during the 60's, and were "encouraged" to leave that city by the KKK in 1963. She counts this as her proudest achievement.
Rev. Rae Karim
A 2014 graduate of Christian Theological Seminary, Rae is a poet, entrepreneur, vocalist with the multicultural worship group Limitless, daughter, sister, friend, and aunt to the best nieces a girl could ask for! Recognizing the gift of words she has been given, Rae enjoys expressing that gift through aspects such as preaching, poetry, and worship through the arts.
YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS SPEAKING
| Anne Williamson |
Recently, for an article coming out in October on WAYfinding, I was asked this question, "What's your ultimate goal?" My response:
For me, one of the most interesting and important questions in life is: To what do you live faithfully? Because, we all live faithfully to something. As theologian Paul Tillich would say, “We all have an Ultimate Concern.” You would think this would be a question we’d be encouraged to explore in school, at work, at home – since it impacts everything we do – but it’s generally not. Often, our Ultimate Concern develops and resides in our subconscious alone. For me, this is no good. Our Ultimate Concern, that to which we live faithfully, needs to be drawn out and evaluated: Is it what you thought? Is it worthy of your whole life?
On a deep level, this is the point of WAYfinding: to help people discover an Ultimate Concern worthy of their whole life. And then, to help them learn to live faithfully to that Concern everyday, to learn to listen to it. This, to me, is faith, and it requires a kind of bravery and permission beyond the mandatory checking of certain belief boxes.
This, then, is why, in WAYfinding, our lens, our shared commitment, is not a statement of beliefs but a process. ...
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