| Kim Parker |
When I first began learning about the Enneagram and its nine personality types, I hadn’t yet taken any sort of test or assessment. I learned about all nine types within a two-day workshop. So, on my own, with all the new knowledge I had gathered, I identified my type – or so I thought.
I was fairly confident I was a type 3; but, when I took the test, the results indicated I was a type 9. My immediate thought was, “What?! I am not a sloth!”...
| Anne Williamson |
Questions are central to the WAYfinding experience. Through the use of diverse resources, we release ideas and curiosities into the community so each of us can strengthen our i/Intuition or w/Wisdom or whatever-w/Word-works-for-you muscles. Then, we encourage each other to live out what we h/Hear. This is our way of being.
So, it's a little odd to be embarking on a topic for an entire round that requires so much instruction. The Enneagram to a certain extent must be taught. We're discovering, though, we can still inject the WAYfinding way. Here are two examples as to how....
| Kim Parker |
I had taken nearly every personality test that existed throughout my eleven year career in higher education: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Strengths Finder, DiSC Profile, Multiple Intelligences Inventory, Intrinsic Motivation Assessment Guide, and the list goes on. It was part of my full-time job to teach college students how to grow in self-knowledge and find a career path through these assessments. So, it comes as no surprise my confidence level regarding my own self-knowledge was fairly high.
Then…life took an unexpected turn....
| Anne Williamson |
I find it difficult to share a definitive opinion on controversial subjects. One reason I see as positive: I am at ease in the gray, generally believing I am one conversation away from understanding someone else’s perspective. The other reason is often problematic: I like to be liked, for others to think well of me.
Take last week; for example. I come out as a person who doesn’t like the word “blessed” or the phrase “everything happens for a reason.” That should be easy enough for me to share, but it wasn’t. Soon after the newsletter sent, I read a friend’s Facebook story about a little girl battling cancer who finds solace in a song titled, “You [meaning, God] know better than I.” And, immediately, I felt like an asshole. Then, two people unsubscribed from the newsletter, and I couldn’t help but feel a little rejected.
The good news is I now recognize this self-talk for what it is: the ego, fear. And, perhaps not coincidentally, through my own current exploration of the Enneagram, our topic this fall, I’m coming to understand this personal dynamic even better. ...
Read More| Anne Williamson |
There are a number of “churchy” words people don’t like. I took an informal survey and heard: devil, saved, psalm, believer, hell, sin, lost, and my favorite response, “I’ll email you my [presumably long] list. [wink, wink].” Sometimes we simply don’t like how a word sounds. (I’m assuming this is the case with “psalm”; “pew” would be my vote.) More often, we dislike what a word means, how it has been used. This is certainly the case with my least favorite “churchy” word: blessed. Despite often spoken with good intention, it always evokes in me a thoroughly “icky” feeling.
For me, “blessed” is the theological coin flip to “everything happens for a reason.” Life going well: “I am blessed.” Life going not so well: “I am… not… blessed?” “No no, God has a plan; we just don’t always ‘get it.’” All phrases that, somehow, claim too much control over one’s life and not enough at the same time.
Lately, though, as I flounder through the unpredictability (translate “infant”) and volume (translate “toddler”) of my life, I’ve been thinking about the word “blessed” differently. ...
| Anne Williamson |
By the time anyone reads this blog post, I’ll have a new baby at home. She’ll only be a few weeks old. How will I feel? Perhaps lovely… baby is relatively easy, toddler is adjusting well, the “feel good” hormones are rolling, friends and family are near and welcome. Life is good. Or, maybe, I’ll feel awful… utterly exhausted by a colicky baby and distraught toddler, isolated and intentionally isolating myself in the throws of post-partum. Life will not feel so good.
Most likely, reality will fall somewhere in-between. My life will be both sweet and trying. This seems to be the way of things most of the time – especially in seasons of transition…and limited sleep.
What I believe, what I trust, is it will be how I react in the midst of the trying moments that will help determine how long they last and how deeply they’re felt....
Read More| Chase Tibbs |
Has the contemplation of your own existence ever left you feeling anxious? Every wonder and worry about the purpose and meaning of life, your life? Me too.
I’ve wondered what life, the actuality of existing, means. What does it mean to say life has purpose? On the flip side, what would it mean for me, and every human being, and the animals that cover the land, and the fish that care for the sea, and even the atoms that work beyond my knowing…what would it mean to say that all of this, all of living, is meaningless?
I know; kinda heavy stuff, right? In my past, I’ve either been afraid to ask the question or have jumped to find an answer. It’s this mystery, complexity and depth of life that makes me shutter; while it’s also the mystery, complexity and depth of life that has inspired me to imagine, and wonder, and ask challenging questions....
Read More| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
Regular “exercise” is part of the daily lives of many octogenarians, but for those in Blue Zone communities, that doesn’t mean what you might think.
Rather than spending extra hours at the gym or walking for the sake of accumulating miles, such people live in environments conducive to making regular movement a natural part of their everyday lives. They don’t have to go out of their way to get exercise because it is structured into what they already do.
Often, this is as simple as doing regular tasks by hand, the old-fashioned way, without the assistance of modern technology and devices....
Read More| Ashley Parsons |
When I was a massage therapist, I would ask my clients, “Do you treat your car better than your body?” When we buy a car, the dealer tells us to make sure we use the right gasoline, change our oil regularly, keep coolant in the radiator and make sure to go to our regular maintenance inspections. What would happen if we didn’t? At best, our cars would stop running. Would we ever put anything other than gasoline in our engine? Not unless you wanted to replace your engine. Would you drive your car on a highway at 90 mph for days or weeks on end, without a break? Probably not. Yet, we (me included) do this everyday with our bodies. We go all day long, with no breaks, and we refuel with nutrient deficient foods. Unfortunately, our bodies don’t have a check engine light they can turn on, nor do we start smoking out of our ears or get a flat tire. Our bodies do start to get run down and not function at their optimal levels. Our “parts” get overworked and worn out.
When it comes to food, the things we put in our mouth have changed tremendously over the past 100 years....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Saturday, many from the WAYfinding community gathered for dinner and conversation around creating meaningful meals. We prepped and served spaghetti and salad - delicious, and inspired by last week's "Friday Night Meatballs" article, intentionally simple. Then, while the kids engaged in their own learning activities, the adults heard from Indiana farmer Jeff Hawkins of Hawkins Family Farms. What a joy! Jeff and his family's approach to farming is holistic and deeply thoughtful. I, and others, left feeling inspired and hopeful for Indiana agriculture.
So engrossed in the conversation with Jeff, we didn't get to part 2: creating a more meaningful experience around the dinner table. It's about being intentional with this time - living into our values - rather than simply going through the motions when we eat. So in lieu of that conversation, and for others who may be interested, I invite you to reflect personally on the below questions as well as consider integrating some of the suggested ideas....
| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
When I was younger, finding community seemed easy. As a child, I simply had to go into the backyard and yell the names of the neighborhood kids until someone came out to play. School, sports, and extracurricular activities provided plenty of opportunities to bond with others over shared experiences, goals, and triumphs or losses.
I spent most of my 20s in similarly structured spaces – college, volunteer corps, and grad school – where proximity to people with common interests was something that could be taken for granted. Add in the fact that most of us lived in practically identical housing, and there wasn’t much to worry about as far as what other people would think of my dorm room or apartment.
Exposure to so many people made it easy to find friends, and if I wanted company for a meal, an event, or pretty much anything, I could always find someone who would enthusiastically join me. When some students would graduate, new ones would move in, and my circle of friends naturally evolved to accommodate these changes.
Now, however, community seems a lot more elusive....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Always curious, even anxious, about what I was meant to do with my life, as a teenager, my parents lovingly took me to a career counselor. The process took nearly all day, as there were numerous interviews, and aptitude and personality tests. Finally, all three of us sat down with the head honcho to hear his analysis of my results. What would he say? Was my vocational destiny finally to be revealed?
It was not. I remember only two things from that conversation. One, he did not say I would one day become an unconventional minister. And, two, he did say I was “neurotically self-reliant.”
It is for this second remembrance that I share this story. I often think our entire society shares my disease....
| Anne Williamson |
Watching Dan Buettner's 2011 TEDMED Talk on Blue Zones fills me with both relief and dread. In it, Buettner shares the key to health and vitality he's discovered through studying pockets of people around the world with the highest proportion of people who reach 100 (i.e. Blue Zones) as well as those rare communities who have improved their health and maintained it: the whole system must be addressed. Perhaps you now understand my contradictory response.
On the one hand, my health and vitality is not, cannot be, entirely in my hands. What a relief! Shame, be gone! On the other hand, my health and vitality is not entirely in my hands, meaning a whole system must be corrected! The Yiddish exclamation "oy vey" comes to mind. This is bound to be a complicated, lengthy process! Can we really change all the misguided systems and policies that affect our collective health in this country? Can we change culture?
Sure. Of course we can. Culture is changing all the time. And, what I love about this particular collective calling is how beautifully the science mirrors our own growing spiritual intuition: we are all interconnected. I cannot be deeply healthy, truly whole, unless you are too. And, not just the "you" next door or half way around the world, but also the "you" generations from now; our interconnectedness is across time as well as geography.
Is this reality more complicated, messy? Of course. But, it's also more beautiful and filled with meaning. Health and vitality is truly a holistic pursuit. I, for one, as part of the One, am glad.
Our spring round kicks off this week! Dan Buettner's TEDTalk as well as this article on how income inequality affects health will shape our conversation. In addition, we'll reflect personally on how fulfilled we currently are in nine interconnected, good health categories using the "Fulfillment Wheel" pictured. At the round's end, after addressing each category, we'll fill out the wheel again and see what's changed. It's going to be a great round! And, there is always more room at the table! If you are interested in joining the conversation, learn more and sign-up here. You are welcome to simply check a group out the first week or two; if it's not for you, no need to continue.
| Anne Williamson |
It’s 5:00a, and I can’t sleep. I am listening to Daniel Goleman talk to Oprah about his ground-breaking work on emotional intelligence. I remember when his initial book on the subject came out. It was 1995; I was 14 years old and struggling beneath an eating disorder and depression. His book was a life line for me: for the first time, I glimpsed a future where my deep emotions and thoughts might not be weights on my life, but propellers toward success, or what I now call wholeness. Goleman’s work cracked open my current paradigm. Thank g/God.
In any particular moment in time, it is easy to believe nothing will ever shift our perspective so dramatically....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.
This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I kept making changes because I found peace in doing so.
This peace has come not with any sort of “arrival” but through the journey of gradually eliminating some things so that other things may speak more freely, may take up more space, in my life....
Read More| Chase Tibbs |
The western hills of Pennsylvania were a wonderful place to grow up. I spent the first eighteen years of my life loved and supported by people who invested deeply in me. Some of you will undoubtedly resonate with my story. Some of you will not. Because, what I did not recognize were the other factors that played into my life. I did not see the privileges that brought my goals into closer reach.
In awakening to my privilege, I can’t say as soon as I realized it I was very comfortable with it. In fact, I’m still not. To be male, to be white, to be heterosexual, to be Protestant Christian, to be born into a middle class family, to be American; to say that these parts of me (and I say parts) are major influences of where I am today would not have made sense to me when I was growing up....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Whatever word to which you're drawn - vocation, purpose, meaning, work, calling, etc. - most of us believe its creation is at least a joint one. That is, our life is not wholly predetermined. If this is the case, then, how do we, as our vocation's joint, if not sole, creators, discern what to create?
There appears to be a common theme in the collective thinking around vocational discernment: it's a dance between being and doing, letting go and pursuing, listening and to borrow Martin's words in last week's reading, "[putting one's] butt in the chair." It doesn't matter whether we believe the inspiration is g/God's, our own, or some combination of the two; the dance is the same....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Less than 100 pages in, I knew The Invention of Wings would be a favorite. It tells the stories – separate yet entwined – of Sarah Grimke and, her slave, Hetty ‘Handful’ Grimke in the American Deep South in the nineteenth century. The two form an impossible friendship as they each struggle to find voice, find wings, in a world built upon their grounding.
One of my most beloved excerpts from the book shares Sarah’s story right after she experiences hearing the Inner Voice, or voice of God, for the first time ...
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Invitation is tough. It involves risk, courage, vulnerability… Will they hear and like my ideas? Will he say, “Yes”? Can I communicate my vision? Am I a good leader? Appreciated member of the team? Does she value my friendship like I value hers? Does he value me? Will they care as much as I do? Will they be fair? Will she show up? Gladly? Lovingly?
Often, these are questions to which we’re not sure we want the answers. Past experiences, current insecurities, ignorance, all make us wary of extending that invitation, of extending ourselves. It’s far easier and much safer simply not to ask.
For all we risk in invitation, though, the alternative is actually far riskier....
Read More| Anne Williamson |
Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. A month ago, as I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.
As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. In fact, I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us.
I hope most of you will be taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, it’s not too late! In fact, several groups are starting this week instead of last. You can learn more and sign-up here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so.
